lol.. it's been a while.

contrary to the alarmist title of the post, is a minor scene :-)

comin back from school lunch time, i jumped in a maxi.. only free seat is the one by the door ( is a 12 seater) next to a
boboshanti in full kit (long sleeved shirt, long pants, shades, selassie I pinned on his chest, brown market bag with assorted bags of salt, fresh, and perhaps cashew..lol)

lil scent of caked on sweat.. but is no scene.. i by the window , right?

maxi passes through curepe.. stops after the light.. a old pensioner jumps in the front seat ( which is in front of me)

REAL kickin!!! maxi stationary, and sweat/rum/urine just infiltrating my nostrils... and since it stationary, i eh get no help from the window to deal with the rastaman either.
in muh mind, i beggin the driver to pull off.. and pull off NOW
i literally dyin. can it get worse?
YES!!

pull up by mount hope there, and this youthman wiht a squeegee and a bucket hop in .. or tries to. couple empty seats behind. but he wants mine ( the rastaman next to me was takin up two seats.and quite frankly, i was cool with that.. )
driver was like, ' eh go round and make tha youth comfortable eh '.
in muh head i was like ? killer.. tell marcus garvey , next to me, to go round..

so we there at the red lite.. the youthman is REAL FUNKIN... and he wearin a wifebeater nah, drippin sweat.. and rastaman eh go round much
so youthman arm rubbin all up over me.. then it had the pensioner in front..
that was the longest red light ever. i jsut couldnt take it

as it cross over the highway ( is by sbcs intersection there)
i said , fuck this, jump out, and walked home..

i really need to sort out my license

ever since i was i took my first vaca, i said i was goin an make a mt.st.benedict.. well. 6 years later, and like 8 years since we last went in form 5.. i reach back..

lol. I rem tha last day.. me and tang STALL half way up the mountain and tell everybody go ahead..... tang was tired, and.. well. I had rather chess back an take a smoke..lol.. sigh... retreats,yes.. dem was d days...

anyway.. today was a mellow.. spen a few hours breezin, takin some pictures , etc. anyhow.. teifhead, i tryin to pray and this good lookin smallie pass..LOL. Had to close muh eye quick, cuz yuh KNOW dem impure thoughts does rush in! Other than that, i was focussed :-) ( ah hope ) cept when this woman cellie pop off..killa.. we in a ABBEY.. monks... vows of silence.. does this mean ANYTHING>? Lol.. jeeezaaan... the whole place dead quiet, and yuh chupid nokia ring on loud.. TWICE.. steups.. i hope tha was jesus callin....

gone to the cafeteria.. and this indian dude just pulls up to me.. wayyy!! nice view.. anyhow.. i from cedros.. u know if any priests coming out today?
alas, no.. says i..
oh.. well.. thanks.. says he..

later on , i see him smoking a cigarette outside.. i hope he didnt come for anti-suicide advice.. that woulda sucked..lol


so i outside.. and walkin around, takin pics.. then it start to rain..lol. Almost tresspassed onto a cemetary, to get a pic of a crucifix,. But thas no scene.lol..wah dey go do? Pray on mih?
Lol

yeh, jump out, and take the mt.st.benedict maxi ( yeh.. it have two.).. study me, being Travis Traveller, wanted to walk up there,nah... perhaps two years ago i coulda pull tha off.. but i eh tink i ready for dat no more nah.. up dere tough.. had this man in a yellow tims, a 3 quarters, and a vest, with the vest up, and was sunnin his potbelly..and this was 10 in the mornin..and he wasnt alone. Had various groups of ne'er-do-wells about.. LOL. Next ting i get jacked, yes..

so i out on the main road, see a b13 goin down the road, and he honk his horn,. Wait.. a taxi; dat rare on d main road.. i prefer taxis, cuz once u get shotgun, yuh doh have to move fuh nobody, and they doh stop as often.. hop in... 'good day' says I.. 'good day?' says the driver...' these days when a man ask yuh how yuh goin, yuh used to tell them one day at a time.. but now, is one hour at a time! Kya kya kya” polite chuckle from me.. driver goes into the intellectual voice -' man cannot foretell the future? Yet..(pause for effect) two thousand years ago, a man wrote that man will become lovers of themselvs and ......” drones on...

OH FUUUCCCCKKKKK!!! ( yeh i know wah yuh tinkin.. jon.. ent yuh NOW come from d mount? Shutup.. i not perfect.. LOL) i shoulda take a damn maxi...

two thousand years ago? Yuh hadda take me for a damn ass if u tink i eh kno u talkin about the bible dred..

i hate to get into religious debates.. and i'll tell you why.. religious beliefs are very personal.. and people mostly take it as an affront if you doh agree with them...

that said, i began to look around to see where this dude comin from.. quick scan..
aight.. no st.christopher medal, or rosary, so he eh catholic.. but then again.. tha self evident.. catholics doh engage yuh in no talk about god.. dey too judgement lazy fuh dat..and half d time, we eh know the first thing about why we go to church.. sad but true...

look at the dashboard.. no awake, or watchtower.. so he eh a jehovah witness..
and no pic of shiva, nor any koranic verses.. so he's not a non-christian tryin to trap me in some reverse-psychology..

ah ha!! whas tha stickin out the bottom of the coin box? Lookin like a lil green book... hmm.. tha could be the old testament gideon's bible. ( the new testament is the blue , and the complete is d red, i think..LOL) i gotcha!!! he's pentecostal! ( makes sense ... sounds like a pastor's speech he comin with there..)

so he ask, “why cant we solve crime?”.. one time i buss his bubble of superiority( by makin out exactly that he comin with a god talk) ... and hit him some heights, mixed with scripture..LOL.. said basically we are selfish creatures, e.g. We expect forgiveness, where we ourselves would not forgive others, as evidenced by the parable of the king and the steward who owed him ( the king forgave him a big debt, yet he did not forgive someone who owed him a small amount)

so he still talkin the pastor speech.. askin me Why do we do this, and Who wrote the Bible, and why This,, and why That... one in particular question was bound to come up.. Why if i ask you a question, and i ask ten people the same thing, everybody have different answer? <--- with tha one i steups REAL hardin muh head..lemme guess.. everybody way wrong(esp dem catholics..hypocrites!!! ) , but your pastor own right?

Surprised him when i told him that it's a long story ( implying that i had my own theory, and did not need to hear his 'insight' )

see, i's a man , does get VEX when people go in this round about way, askin rhetorical questions.. get to the damned point.. tell me what you want to say upfront.. but.. since i had a lil jesus in me from earlier in the day, it was no scene..

lol nah i just playin.. as stated in earlier posts, i a real tolerant fellah.. and i like to learn new stuff,esp about religion ( oddly enouh..lol)..

in fact, i was kinda glad i bounce him up.. he wasnt NEARLY as obnoxious wit it as some people.. ( i was in tobago and this i had to convince this dude why i coudlnt come his church ( i was workin 10-8 shift ) and i had to put him in his place when he bawl catholics doh read the entire bible.. was like where u hear tha, homey? Said his pastor, and he himself was catholic.. well, says i, there's a reading for every single day of the week, and of the year.. and 3 gospels are rotated every year, with Luke for festival seasons, and revelation for the end of the year... Oh.. he says.. i didnt know....STEUPS LOL) )

anyhow.. life short , and so was the drop..lol took it by the lights,give the driver a bounce.. and came home..

was hotter than HADES out there, yes.. peace out

why me?

so i in fuckin gridlock traffic, in the back of a 12 seater maxi goin down caro... now, back on the maxi stand, this somewhat hot chick came in the maxi, but sit down in front.. i , like a big nerd, in the back seat, by the window, with two book in muh han ( 'how linux works', and 'linux and unix shell programming'... )

"is that.. linux, jon..? "

"yeh.. chicks 'dig' linux..."


and lookin like i does talk wit a lisp or sumthin..lol
"d00d, linuckths ithz like, wayz betha than windowsth!!!!"

anyway.. i know i know tha bird face from somewhere.. but thas not the point..

this dude come and sit down next to me.. ( i in the back seat) and five minutes, this 'chick' rolls in, and sits between us ( i in the back seat).. now, when she was by the door, i make she out, had a vacant expression, and her mouth was open.. lol... WRITE OFF!! .

right.. so we goin down the road.. chupid me wait till 4 o clcok to come down in town, clean fuhgetin is a school day, and the fuckin traffic tha does gwaan on the western main road..


around by movietown there, my girl start to text on the phone.. all of a sudden, i hear my boy sayin . ' ..... family, yuh lookin well.. whatever yuh doin, keep it up..;

i am like.. oh christ, no.. no. please doh start to pips this girl in traffic...... see.. this could go one of many ways.. but let's stick with the two most salient ones ..

1) she put up the 'cold front'.. yet, he go have more Persistance than Norris Man.. and go be comin with cheesier and cheesier talks..(thereby makin the whole dance uncomfortable and annoyin the fuck out of me)

or..
2) she go be receptive, and they go strike up a pointless convo in the middle of this journey to nofuckinwhere, where they recite their life stories , making me wish for a gun to shoot myself in the head......
guess wha door they choose.?


meet Devon , and Alicia..

Alicia, originally from Malabar, now lives in Glencoe, and works at Huggins Shippin..
Malabar, yuh say? well, Devon, he's from Arima!! small world, huh.. yup.. Devon is on his way to work at Direc One.. wait... ALicia used to work there!.. till she said fuck it, and rode out to somewhere else, where she worked for 4 years.. in this 4 years, Alicia, had to have ( in her words ) many boyfriends, and one she even lived with at a point.. but right now, she enjoyin being single, and partyin up a storm

"wow," says Devon, " yuh sound like a lot of fun"

" well," replies Alicia, " i eh ready fuh marriage.. thas for when i reach 30ish so"

( my take on it , is that she real crash.. but doh take me on.. i have the depth of a teaspoon..lol)

anyhow, somewhere around here, i zone out, fuckin out of my MIND..this is one time, i glad the maxi driver drivin like a maxi driver..lol.. all up on the shoulders, cuttin man easy easy...

i come back in the convo where apparently they have some mutual friends up in arima..or direc one.. or somewhere..lol. my girl then proceeds to tell him that she stoppin off by RBL Glencoe, and the food court.. 'yuh eh kno dere???. they does call all there HILO Plaza...'
i coulda butt her in her forrid..steups.. Highland Plaza, u dumbass.....

fuck it..

wah tief my head th emost was that they exchange numbers when she hop out... smilin from ears to ears..
but study she have a tattoo all down her neck


same time, the same chick who face i now, she hop out too.. sigh...


but back on topic.. why the fuck do people do tha; track other people in a maxi.. subjecting everyone else to the usual bullshit.. steups..
i doh wanna hear bout your life!!

and notice everyone wanna be coy, or sound like a dan..

i rem once i was comin down in a red band, on the bus route, when this chick in the maxi ask me if i went 5 rivers junior sec..

and i like.. ahm... No eh..lol.. ( nuttin against junior secs. but 5 rivers REALL rough, dred..lol)

well, apparently, my girl ( i fuhget her name. .this was years ago) works in a blood lab.. where they test for AIDS amonsgts other things... was tellin me that a dude rolled in
" good lookin dougla fellah, just like you"
and apparently my youth was HIV positive ....

how's that for a icebreaker..
luckily, we were close to town... as soon as i jump out, i put my feet in second gear and got da fuck out of Dodge city..

so i'm back from st.lucia..

anything to declare? yeh.. doh fuckin travel with LIAT..

the day start off with a teifhead.. we flyin at 10, right.. half 9, mummy was .. oh shit.. i fouhget muh purse home.. i start to ben ONE TIME.. so she gone back with muh aunt to get it. now, my ass broke, so i doh even have money to pay departure tax, and i recall my aunt sayin meet her at 'Gate 14', in the departure lounge ( which is AFTER u pay the tax) so i panickin. i leave muh fone home ( cuz i cah pay no roamin charges) .. i had NOW buy 2 power mint to get 2 shilling change when i say them.. i was still bennin tho..lol.

anyhow we get to the plane.. now, if u ever travel to tobago, you would know the DeHaviland Dash 8.. it's like a 12 seater maxi with wings..

but study i get take..my ticket said that i only had a connecting flight in BDOS.. study i end up in tobago, then grenada, an hour in bdos THEN st.lucia... i literally WAS d caribbean amphibean.. fuckin island hoppin like a damn jackass.. i musse see the saftety instructions NINE times; after a while i was studyin to go up there myself and assist with the demo.lol.

one time, after she had done the demo, and said ' the toilets are in the front, there must be no smokin.. yada yada yada', this dude RUNS in and jumps into the john one time..lol a lil light comes on ' OCCUPIED LAVATORY' , so everybody know yuh handlin some business.. a next teifhead was the dude in full muslim kit who was in the front.. i saw him approaching the cockpit, and i start to quake ,yes..lol. nah i was like doh fuck me up nah man... but he went to the john ( phew)

yeh.. so anyhow, we made it to st.lucia.. study citygate bigger than that airport..no lie..lol... but they have two, so i 'llowin them.. kevin had point out to me that the cemetary between the beach and the airport was full.. and they were buryin niggas in the SAND..lol. it was a $20 US to the hotel.. but study if i walked for 5 mins, i could take a maxi for $2 EC and reach right where i goin... anyhow.. next time.. on that note too, study the maxi has no bells.. just like grenada.. u hadda shout to the driver, or knock on the side of the van.. also, again, here they have this mad obsession with foil... u buy some chickin from somebody.. PLOPS! they rest it in some foil, and hand it to u..lol. like in grenada.. we went to a restaurant by this kinda posh lookin hotel.. my friend wasn't that hungry, so she asked if she could have it to go, nah.. man was like no scene.. out comes the foil, an plops! pasta in foil..

again, kevin made the observation.... the women were aight.. but the men REAL thug lookin.. like nobody ever takes a haircut, or shaves ..lol.. niggas be lookin hardcore!..lol.. we went to castries, the capital.. if ever there was a bright cheerful city in the caribbean.. .this is as far from it as you can get..LOL>... it REAL shitty... ( kinda like a mix between george st and scarborough, tobago).. yeh.. and we went on new Millenium Highway.. study wrightson road bigger than that shit..lol

yeh.. so eventually we came to the beach.. reduit bay. it was real nice, i eh go lie.. real nice..it's a tie between that an gran anse in grenada... study now, i feelin to spit when i see maracas.. "twah"

nah i love maracas.. ( more in the dry season tho.. the water is much clearer)

anyhow.. study i had to say a psalm for the wedding ceremony... teif my head.. real impromptu.. but it was okay. the bible didnt catch a fire..lol side note.. nads and ria had look real nice ( hopefully i'll get the pics from kevin and post them )

and i looked GQ as well :-)

yeh.. so after the wedding, we went to the lantana room... (is 12 of us... so the room was the size of a bedroom..lol ) but it was cool. had champagne and said some words.. study i cried nah..lol. not much, and not when i was speakin, but when ria was sayin somehthin, and she broke down, i cried ..lol. i know. i'm a lil trick..lol ) and after that, i got REAL drunk and started to pips the waitress..LOL.. nah i wasnt real drunk. but yes.. i pipsed the waitress..lol... she was aight lookin.. let's say a 6.5 out of 10.. but she was the best lookin thing on the island that i saw so far.. yes horse... we saw no stunners...

oh . but the food was off the CHAIN yo.. had me some steak, and shit..lol.. i real eat muh belly full. in fact.. right now my ass hungry, and i WISH i coulda be back there.. had buffet breakfast and shit... egg, bacon, lil fried fish, sausages .. all kinda stuff..

the room was real nice too.. wish i had a lil bird to share it with.. but no.. alas it was cuz nads..lol... and it's not THAT kinda party..lol.

i heard K was tryin to get a ticket 11:30 on friday..lol. somehow, that doesnt surprise me.. but you WERE missed, thas for sure..

we hadda vacation together.. i mean, all of us, make a turn somewhere.. that go be the real scene.. act a fool in somebody else country..

study there was a barefoot dude in the airport, travellin..

anyhow.. i hungry...

to make a long story short.. my mother is a real scene.. no matter what i did the night before, she will wake my ass up on a whim

was draftin last nite til 3ish.. and she work me up around 7 to tell me to go by gramma to drop something.. since is gramma, i said no scene.. and went back to sleep..

but u think she coulda leave a note on the table? a fone call later? nah.. if she did, she wouldnt be 'stephanie'.. logic and the stef doh mix..

anyhow, i went down by gramma, and was on the way home.. bounced up marc gill in the taxi .. i was in the middle, marc on the left of me, in the back seat.... we just talkin ish about life, but mostly fuckin up the Nat Sci dude from yesterday's post.. study he almost hit some vertical posts... he woulda been ALLLL fucked up.. but i mean. .come on.. summer school, even??? ..lol. i digress..

the taxi comin up on the highway, by the stadium, approaching town.. so the woman tells the driver ' don't forget you're going on wrightson road to drop me'.. the driver steups, watches the woman in the mirror.. and asks 'so WHAT road we on?'.. the woman.. obviously not expecting a disgruntled taxi driver , was like 'i know, but i know sometimes ya'll turn off and go onto Ariapita'.. taximan repeats. .'But... what road ARE we on??'.. with that, i start to laugh inside.. but marc fightin hard to keep it in... he try to change the subject, by askin about the rest of yall , but stops with a smile on his face.... seein marc so, I now startin to get trouble too.. and muh chest start to vibrate with the stifled belly laugh.. vibrations the woman CLEARLY feelin(and hearin).. so she know we real catchin it off her..lol.. marc had to look out the taxi, and i closed my eyes and try not to explode wit laugh

anyhow, we reach where the woman gettin out.. and since she's on the right of me, in traffic, marc ( on the left ) gets out.. or would have, if the taxi driver didnt say ' NO!! yuh coudl get out there.. GO!".. i watch marc, as she step out.. then the two of us START TO DEAD in that backseat.. i eh eh laugh so for the week nah. but the teifhead was the driver.. who said " Allyuh laughin ? my wife harden JUS SO!! yuh does know dem! "

with that, we dead even more..

truth be told, the woman didnt deserve that from the driver.. she was polite, and well within her rights to remind the guy.... but that doh stop it from being funny as fuck.. i don't think it translated well to here.. but trust me when i say.. ig'nant taxi drivers always good for a laugh..