temporary reprieve from insanity

sigh

went a cooler fete the other day..   now, skinny me totin d cooler ( but then again, that does always happen.._

now ress down the cooler.. the ance was lil sparse.. say one time.. lemme mix a lil drink ( we had buy the big 1.75 litre jug of brian lara..lol)


drop 3 block a ice in the cup.. nice.. pour muh rum.. mellow....

look to open the club soda.. and SPLASHAAWWW  !!! FLOOOOOSHHH!! FIZZZLLLEE!!

all OVER muh juhsey...
sigh.. the dance was empty enough for me to have gotten made out. but i eh see no one laffin, so i say, no scene

then this cat from triniscene comes...." eh..  allyuh pose nah"

sigh

muh triniscene debut and i lookin like ONE yutz, with club soda ALL over muhself..   (notice kv hand blockin part of muh jersey.. what the rest sayin? LOL

lol.. it's been a while.

contrary to the alarmist title of the post, is a minor scene :-)

comin back from school lunch time, i jumped in a maxi.. only free seat is the one by the door ( is a 12 seater) next to a
boboshanti in full kit (long sleeved shirt, long pants, shades, selassie I pinned on his chest, brown market bag with assorted bags of salt, fresh, and perhaps cashew..lol)

lil scent of caked on sweat.. but is no scene.. i by the window , right?

maxi passes through curepe.. stops after the light.. a old pensioner jumps in the front seat ( which is in front of me)

REAL kickin!!! maxi stationary, and sweat/rum/urine just infiltrating my nostrils... and since it stationary, i eh get no help from the window to deal with the rastaman either.
in muh mind, i beggin the driver to pull off.. and pull off NOW
i literally dyin. can it get worse?
YES!!

pull up by mount hope there, and this youthman wiht a squeegee and a bucket hop in .. or tries to. couple empty seats behind. but he wants mine ( the rastaman next to me was takin up two seats.and quite frankly, i was cool with that.. )
driver was like, ' eh go round and make tha youth comfortable eh '.
in muh head i was like ? killer.. tell marcus garvey , next to me, to go round..

so we there at the red lite.. the youthman is REAL FUNKIN... and he wearin a wifebeater nah, drippin sweat.. and rastaman eh go round much
so youthman arm rubbin all up over me.. then it had the pensioner in front..
that was the longest red light ever. i jsut couldnt take it

as it cross over the highway ( is by sbcs intersection there)
i said , fuck this, jump out, and walked home..

i really need to sort out my license

yeh dred.. as the title says.. lol
walked in my house friday afternoon, to get ready to go 51, nah

musse bout 6:30 so, muh shirt already iron, is just to shower, and fly down the road.. so i gone to put on some theme music nah.. to hype up the mood

step into muh room to jump on the laptop...... no laptop!!!

look by muh bed for the other one.. it not there...!

start to panic.. nah. nah . yuh eh get jacked, homey..lol spin round.. windows closed.. back door closed.. side door.. wait.. the backdoor SLIGHLY ajar..walk up to it.. the latch broken, and the key is in the 'closed' position, but the bolt is all the way back inside..
sigh..
callin 999.. no answer..

ok.. call aunty brenda.. cuz i mean.. wah i go tell stef, dred..the woman already paranoid.. lol.

aight.. seen.. call aunty brenda.. then call 999.. no answer..
walk up and down the house.. then i see the compaq ( the newer one) in the corner. PHEW.lol
i remember i was usin it in the back room, and i left it on the ironin board..

sigh.. well.. at least THA one safe.. do a quick inventory.. turns out they rolled with my old laptop, my digital camera, two crappy speakers.. a digicel phone i bought the fuckin DAY BEfORE... a 128 meg usb stick.. muh gym bag.. 3 colognes. a pair of socks ,a dvd full of music, some jewellry and a bottle of TEND SKIN..muh tend skin, yuh know.. lol ( so yuh know is a black african star roll with it LOL)
dred, i had a gift , wrapped for someone, that i never delivered..
the fuckers SHRED the wrappin, and the box.. literally TORE the box into little peices
only to find an empty picture frame ( lol. i was on a budget) fuckin animals yes
they opened a johnny walker container, only to see the bottle inside was empty..
the dumb fucks only left with half the cord for the laptops power supply.. ( wait. i hope they doh come back for it..lol) in any event the battery on tha was real poor.. like a hour an half juice.. i hope it fuckin explodes on who buys it
called digicel, to deactivate the phone, nah... the girl deactivate the sim..so i say cool scene.. then , hangin up.. i;m thinkin. wiat. i wanted to deactivate the fone..call back, and the soldier was like. sorry.. since they probaby tossed the sim seein that you deactivate it, yuh cah deactivate the phone..
SIGH..lol
but say what...
i mean. thank god for life, yuh know.
next ting they break in, and i sleepin
and thye kill me, or i walk in on them.. i had a kitchen kife in my bedroom. they coulda draw for it and ress it on muh chess
or moms coulda be here..
anyhow. all that eh play off

but considering that they only check my room, and they eh roll with the dvd player or anything else, i am led to believe that something might have startled them.. perhaps even me comin home..

just when yuh havin a good day, somethin just jumps up and bites you in the ass, dred. lol
i'm still alive.. and materials goods are just that. materials goods..
if someone ask yuh to buy a inspiron 8200, though... do me fave..
fuck his ass up..LOL
peace out
jon

so i gone to church tonite...

i coulda swear stef gone already this mornin, but no.. she hadda go too.
i dunno if i mention this. but i doh like to go anywhere with my mother.. as in nowhere..for any amount of time..
the woman does just annoy the hell out of me.

but anyhow..
she went ahead.. i had to get ready.

so after waitin a year an a day for a maxi, i finally get one and reach durin the homily (thas after the readings where the priest does talk )
as i walk in, i see the twins who does be in the carib ads (last week i had real catch jones durin 'sign of peace' ( the part where yuh does walk round shakin hands...) was player-hatin on them, wondering if they put more effort in shakin hands for carib, than for jesus.. but i was on jones.. anyway)

sat down.. was breezin. then this soldier and his bird coem and sit next to me.. now the bird was kinda good lookin ...
but the soldier was REAL thugged out.. cane row and ting. . but why i hatin on the man so? LOL

then durin the 'our father', when we hadda hold hands. i coulda SWEAT i was gettin current from the smally in front ( she was aight. but i had a feelin she was underage.. VERY underage.. and 'aight' wasn't worth riskin a trip in front the magistrate..lol. i does only chance that fuh 'stunners')


mass goin on, and i tryin not to gape...( not that they have any seta winners in the dance. but yuh know..)
then i see this smally who does be on campus.. i dunno , dred.. something bout her, i just real like.. she a lil thick, short.. reddish.( but with a sizeable rack, and a nice smile.. lol)

i always see her, but i doh ever approach...or even think about talkin to her...

anyway. .. so mass done. and i see stef,.. walkin to her, but she talkin to this smally.. and i mean.. shit.. the smally lookin REAL GOOD.. lol
is not muh usual type.. more like willy own. short, slim..a kinda ' form 4 finish'.... no big seta forms
( in my defense, i didnt give her the full critique. i mean. jeez . i in front muh moms, dred.. LOL)

but she REAL cute, dred..

then stef was like, ' aye.. this muh lil friend i was tellin yuh bout'.
now..months ago, stef was tellin me bout this girl she meet in church, who livin a few streets away from us.. she tell me she was 'nice' but i mean. really... is stef.. she coulda be talkin bout hte girl personality or some shit so..

all i coulda muster was ' hi.. '

god forbid, i might have to end up falin with stef from now on..lol
but i doh wanna appear desperate, so i eh really try to pick stef mouth, cuz then she go relay that to the bird

sigh..
well, at least i took a shave, and was lookin like people...( thanks lesley lol)
hopefully i go see her again, and have more to say...

wow.. it's been a while....

lesse.. what have i been up too? mm
jack shit, it would appear..lol
nah. nothing stole my head.. few things passed tho..


thanks to everyone who roll thru fuh d earthstrong.. lol i know it was last minute :-)


what i been up to? well. i grew a beard.. lol.

a beard, u say? dred, u'd be surprised how many people take me for muslim this rounds.. LOL

i a man on the port to go 'bago couple weeks back, and this soldier was like.. ' aqi ( islamic for 'brother', it would appear') yuh wah buy this khaki pants awa? ' LOL

then last week, i was by the doubles man in town ( not cleve), and the money man was like' yeh aqi. two slight?' , then watch the doubles man, and was like' hook aqi up there...'.
as i gone to pay . the man was like ' yeh aqi. inshallah.. ( which is ' allah willing' )

horse, i almost dead yes..

but the one that took it for me was when i was on henry street, by the corner, and i bump into a this real thugged out dude.... so i dress back , nah...cuz i know he could beat me to a frazzle.
my boy watch me, and with a sincere voice , was like ' hard luck dere, aqi'


sigh.. but soon i hadda fly d beard.. muh brethren gettin marrid ( an i's d best man plip!. lol) so i hadda shave up and look like people again..



so i on the net today, and i come across this article, on BBC.
Almost 70% of fertility clinics either have no access to donor sperm, or find it extremely difficult to obtain, a BBC survey has revealed.

Seventy-four of the UK's 85 fertility clinics responded to the poll.

Specialists say infertile patients are becoming desperate - and they need more resources for campaigns to recruit donors.

Many reported waiting times of at least six months for couples needing donor sperm, and some were having to turn patients away.

'Outside our control'

Zoe and Colin Veal, from Bristol, are among those who are now unsure whether they'll be able to have children.

"It was a huge shock when we realised we weren't going to be able to access treatment," said Zoe.

She said the couple had considered buying fresh sperm over the Internet, or adopting.

l\."

buh a-a!!

i's a man hah da THROWIN" WAY here!! lol

bess i go england and buss a rounds, yes.. LOL

or i could put some in a envelope and sen fuh dem. lol

picture u get a package, and when u open it, it smellin like ole break..LOl snap! i kill me

side note: things have hit a snag.. not goin much into it.. but i fucked up... :-)

on a separate, yet related note. my solo drinkin has gone up too..lol
i write this as i consume my new favourite drink; bacardi 'oro', with club soda and a splash of lime..

sigh..

not exactly where i thought i'd be after 25 years here.. but hey.. life's good nonetheless

here are some pics that harry took , in shade..( bago)
anyhow. peace out...
jon

hmm.. dred, had a BEST dream the other night, yes...

and no.. is not  THAT kinda dream, doogie..lol

nah. i dreamt i was liming with some syrians,in a lil business venture.. then all of a sudden, it turn 'Training Day' on me, and the muhfuckers wanted me to snort cocaine!

("this aint no afterschool special, nigga.. SMOKE that shit!!!!")

well, after i listened to Ras Shorty i and  refused the fellah with the white powder ( allyuh remember it used to have  a next  song by ajala called ' will you ride a white horse' ?)

i think i had to rescue this girl.. and dry so, we end up dealin.. lol
( remember in the webeat post, i mentioned that it had a bird who had blow muh mind with her guitar an her voice?  yeh. well is HER)
so we dere , just mellow.. breezin.. and i got tha feelin , yuh know? contentment..

like i was drinkin in naris whole afternoon fuh free, then when i went in curepe, they had nobody by the doubles man and ah eat muh belly full.. yuh know> lol


well, perhaps not like tha, but something so..

nah but it was a good vibe i got from her in the dream.. we was just limin, talkin.. think i couldnt sleep, and i wake her up to play me a song LOL. nah tha didnt happen, eh nick. but it COULD HAVE.. lol


then my ass woke up.... in muh room.. living home.. with no g/f... laugh @ me


on a serious note
had to say goodbye to a couple good people this past month here.. 

we'll never forget them, tho


anyhow.. peace out

nuttin big


earlier today,  went to drop a bomb on campus, so i headed down to S.A.C. ( muh remote bombin location)

gone inside, one soldier there, but i holdin this mission since 8 o clock.. and i NOW put down a hot potato roti... so i say, fuck it, and went brave..lol

horse.. i try about 6 stalls, and ALL those 6, the lock was broken! and in the same fuckin way.. the latch for the bolt to hold on to ( on the doorframe) was removed!
now what kinda high-man gets they jollies by inspirin that sorta panic ? LOL

picture you tryin to 'puh dong a wuk' and yuh hear the tell-tall sounds of a man in the bathroom.. and of ALL d million stalls he pick, is the one with YOU..lol

"EXCUSE!!! SOMEBODY IN HERE!!" , yuh hadda shout, while pushin the door close ( cuz of course, he in a hurry, and wanna kick the door down) and bringin yuh pants up to hide yuh business

lol
according to a site i read yesterday, such intruders are referred to as

Turd Burglers -- One who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when work taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way, you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.


fortunately , the 7th stall was lucky.. and had a latch..LOL.. so yuh know how the rest went... paper up d pilot seat, and destroy a next city lol

though, for a few minutes i had to interrupt the misson, cuz i was disturbed by what the site calls

Uncle Ted -- A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.


http://www.crystalpro.com/coolstuff/dump2.htm


happy flyin, bitches!1

had a odd weekend..

went down to rbtt sports with kv and got bummy..lol nah, i end up gettin a call from muh boy marv that he had a extra ticket and if i wanna go? so i say cool scene..

right... me and kv end up headin down to guaracara park..lol. bought a bottle of bacardi oro and some chaser , and we was in business!
first, tho, had a pit stop, where i end up seein this bird i had a kinda thing for, for 5 years .. ( ended in mutual lock off, which i initiated, but she seems quite happy to not even be civil.. who vex loss, yes) anyhow.. we had to roll by her sister to pick up a cooler.. and BAM! she was there.. stole my head..
luckily my heart doh race when i see her.. screw THAT noise yes.. lol

yeh.. so after gettin lost on petrorin compound, lookin for her sister house, we get thru, and head out to guaracara.. park up , and lime. it was mellow, but hardly any hot birds..lol then again, i wasnt lookin.. skip out round 430, and head up to a trade show in macoya.. bounce up kv coworker and her friend ( a decent indian bird..not flashy tho)

after the tradeshow now, we say we go take a lil drink; head grand bazaar..
just so, the one kv does work wit make out a fellah who does stalk her.. as in follow her car, bad drive her etc etc..lol..
now, we cah just let her drive and drop her friend with this nut on the loose ( cuz he made us out..lol) where the friend livin? Claxton Bay! lol

once more, headed down south, and came back up ( after a nex beer ) study comin up the road, heard a ad on 96.7
"more fyah!! Forres Park" ( as in PUNCHEON RUM!!!)
*shakes head in disbelief*


right.. so sunday now.. K called and say she need help with d talent show.. might have a free jersey in it, so i say yeh. me an kv head down fuh 2.. reach down, and i was assigned the job of scorer at the judges table
(thank YOU, Chuck Norris......)

boy..until 5:30.. ah couldnt see muh WAY nah.. how the paperwork operated was that each contestant has 5 sheets.. 3 numbered judges sheets( correspondin to judges 1,2 an 3) a registration sheet , and a MC sheet( for the MC to intro.. the female one was kinda cute dred..lol. lil smallie with a short ras goin on) now..for some reason... i was gettin all 5 of these sheets, having to separate, then deliver mc sheets and registration forms to people who need it.. but wait.. on top of that i needed to distribute sheets to the judges AND tally scores..


the sorting wouldna be tha bad, if it was for the fact that wind was blowin REAL hard, and all this paper shufflin had to go on in my lap ( now, if i had a surface to work with, it woulda take much MUCH less time) and on top of that, MORE paperwork was comin in every 15 minutes..

then one of the judges thought i was his bitch, and i had to be runnin up an down tellin the mc this, and goin an get that, etc.. lol
man tap muh shoulder and bawl how he thirsty..
STEUPS

all this time i thinkin, when i see K, i gonna weBeat her up, yes.. lol

nah but kv an dem work by the table had done by tha time, so they draft him in to do the scorin, while i remained the judge's bitch.. lol

performances.....

dred, had like 80 people in the dance, yes.. stole my head.. the indian dance group was REAL lame, dred.. lol.. the girls was tired, outta time, and one a dem, her black track pants was baggy like mc hammer own, yes!

but the indian dancer who came on after them!.. BOY!! she get on real sweaty!! the entire amphitheater ( or 'ahmfeeteeyertah', according to one mc, with 'BBTT' as a sponsor') was bawlin fuh she yes..standin ovation! my girl roll it to indian, soca, groovy an dancehall!

then the lil girl who did d monologue about examples, and was talkin about how her mother does one thing, and punishes her when she does it... boy, is d end.. when she bawl out, ' mammy , if i ANY different from you... BEAT MIH ' and walk off d stage
BOY!!!! as i tell d greek.. if she had ONLY drop the mike when she do that...boy, i woulda canter over d whole judgement stage!

had a couple other performances that real rock, tho.. but there was this one bird.. josette, i think? she came on with her guitar, and said she hoped she could 'zap' people souls with her song... everybody laff..

but when she had finish.....boy.. hmm. even a judge ' like ah geh zap'

after the show, i end up askin fuh her demo or sumthin, cuz the tune was real powerful.. ( k ask mih to stop pipsin her contestants..lol )

had a couple wanjangs behin mih, tho.. who was only fuckin up people when they stick on stage "Get orf d STAGE!!" and laffin ( but i think they were contestants earlier.. cah remember.. lol. d first 30 , muh head was real hot, then the last 20 i more or less zone out)


lemme see.. wah else.. oh, two fellahs came, and both did 'so sick'.. man i damn fed up of tha song, and ana swear the last one was gay..

then had a midget, who surname surprisinly really WAS 'Small'

i wunder if she got 'shortlisted'?
LOL jus playin :-)

den at the end, had this teifhead man who was packin up chairs.. SWEAR he was gypsy halfbrother. and was drawin from a nip of white oak..

before tha, tho, my boy lift up a stak a chairs, then bawl out' i thought i was strong... like ah hadda stop drinkin rum, yes'

lol. d greek have him on mp3.. lol

all in all, had fun..
but i eh go do it again, nah.
not even fuh a weBeat track suit............

minor story..lol


nah, tryin to draft in the library ( draft = study, in uwi talk) but the friggin CHILDREN next to me just talkin up a storm.. wanna choke somebody, but is more of them than me nah.. so.. i hadda endure it.. this one cunt had his celly poppin off every 2 minutes...steups.. wanted to shove that down his throat yes.. and this next one had a mario bros ring tone he was playin fuh everybody..

now yuh KNOW if is one thing does irritate me, is the fuckin clowns who does go thru they ring tones in public.. wuss yet, in a library, when man panickin cuz they eh understand shit for exam on wednesday.....

saw this dude who face i seem to remember from school... but... my yute lookin odd, dred.. then it hit me.. he relaxed his hair.. now.. he had hair like Kunta Kinte from roots.. nuttin wrong wit dat.. and then the walk REAL effeminate...... lol.. terrible..


anyhow. jus so this next soldier jump in on the table next to me, real breathless... " boy! i now walk in on ( insert name) and (insert name) in d (somewhere) !!!!' ( i didnt hear the names.. lol.. i was bennin hard nah, so i couldnt look too interested..
apparently, two of their classmates, decided to go get a lil sugar while studyin.. so they went somewhere they THOUGHT was safe..... the girl was wearing a jeans nah.. so she had to step out of it, to get in the action... and when the other soldier roll in, she was gettin 'lip service' from the dude....LOL
according to the fellah who walk in, ' she bamcee smooth like lightning'.

lol whatever that means, yes..

i know wah yuh tinkin..lol... normally is ME who in the middle of the teifhead..lol. i know.. i still lookin..



anyhow.. back to d draff

well not yet....


nuttin much teifin muh head today, not in a funny way..

things just mellow fuh d hora, i guess.. cept for exams.. lol

(went to the beach today tho.. was off d CHIZZAIN.. maracas.. i mean.. 8 o clock.. water was clear,calm, coulda see muh foot in the water.. it literally felt like another beach entirely.. was amazin)

nah, been low... school etc..


cept fuh the pothound on campus that had ' DOG' written on the belly..
or d Good Friday Bobolee that was on the lamp post on my street dressed in a overalls... ( which was stolen the day after..lol)



middle of las month, i realised that the blog is a year old..lol..   i hope i eh run out of gas tho..lol..  some things have changed since then.. others came and lost importance.. and even more other still here... 

nah, but it really has been a teifhead, to have you guys reading....  i appreciate it...




as i said.. it's been slow..... i alive though
hopefully, my head will be stolen soon, and i'll organise  the details.. lol

jon